Post by darko on Aug 29, 2012 20:05:50 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]My Rant:[/glow]
Growing up in the 80's all i had in my world were my cartoons and action stars and when all my favorite old cartoons start getting remade it peeves me some but then all my favorite 80/90's movies get remade i really get pissed ... But Sylvester Stallone to his great mind thought of putting all the actions stars of the past with some of the lesser known today and from that birth came The Expendables 1 & 2 and so far it has been a great movie experience and then the devil came knocking looking to cash in. That devil was called Ubisoft, Known for their cheap cash in games a la "Lost" for the 5 people that played that shit heap is a prime example of what was to come and if you remember the movie games of the 80's for the Nintendo Entertainment System you will remember LJN and that horrible shit colored rainbow always meant that you we in for a crappy time... They did so many games based on movies and none of them were any good, they almost single handley destroyed my love of Back To The Future ..
[glow=red,2,300]Price Point: [/glow]
First off this game is 1200 MS points on XBLA and $15 dollars on PSN and that is way way too much for this it is really a 400 MS point game at the best.
[glow=red,2,300]Characters: [/glow]
You get to select from 4 Expendables ..
Barney Ross (Sly Stallone)
Gunner (Dolph Lundgren)
Yin Yang (Jet Li)
Hail Caesar (Terry Crews)
Only Terry Crews And Dolph Lundgren do voice over work.. The guy who is doing voice work for Slyvester Stallone And Jet Li are terrible also the fact that it isn't even Jet Li as a character model..
[glow=red,2,300]Storyline:[/glow]
This Game Takes place right before the 2nd movie and the end of the game starts the opening scene of the Expendables 2 Movie
You start off the game in a helicopter talking about getting a sniper as this is a major plot point as to not even give you the details about anything. I did not know i was after a chinese business man being held hostage till the end of the game... That was the whole damn plot of the game and you do not find OUT TILL YOU FUCKING RESCUED HIM. Anyways you start off in the Falklands as sort of a start up stage and work your way through 5 missions till you get to a sniper that you were talking about earlier that has information on a mission that you know nothing about and when you finally get to him and blow up his sniper position, you start to interrogate him and the fucker blows himself up... This shit just writes itself. Anyways there are 4 Chapters .. The Falklands, Somalia, Kowloon And Burma ... Sylvester Stallone has a real boner for Burma in his movies and each chapter has 5 missions totaling 20 missions in all.
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Gameplay:[/glow]
It is top down, twin stick shooter shit.. You will glitch and freeze through much of this and leveling up is a chore..Each Expendable as 2 guns at his disposal like Gunner has a Sniper Rifle that he shoots like a shotgun, Caesar has a Shotgun that takes you 5 hits to kill someone at close range, Yin has a knife that cuts a enemy down with one hit, and Barney has his colts that do nothing like they do in the movie. I have no idea how many times i had to restart this shit cause of the expendables getting stuck off screen only to never reappearing but the screen still moves like you are playing altho you are fucking stuck.. Gameplay is broken.
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Final Verdict:[/glow]
Bullshit, Wasted Opportunity spent on a quick cash grab..
[glow=red,2,300]Score:[/glow]
.5/10
DON'T BUY IT
